Onward Christian soldiers!

While flicking through the channels on my tellybox, I came across the Knights of St. Michael on the Eternal World Television Network (EWTN), a Catholic television network from the US. While I would normally steer well clear of stations like this, I was somehow drawn to these fresh faced, clean-cut youths who want to fight the good fight.

Here's the blurb on their page on the EWTN website:

"This Catholic variety show features a cast of eleven young adults who teach our Catechism in whole new way! This new series will leave you feeling encouraged and proud to be Catholic! The Knights have found themselves compelled to choose a side... fighting for God beneath his first defender, Saint Michael. These young defenders of the faith stand in the front line of the spiritual battle - and they are champions".

One segment involved these warriors of Christ reading out letters from viewers from all across Christendom. Most of the letters were from various parts of America - a lot were from Michigan for some reason - however, there were a number from other parts of the globe, including good old County Mayo. While one Crusader read out the letter, another would struggle to find that place on a globe that they had. One letter was from Norway, so Tammy - I didn't catch her name, but she looked like a Tammy - uttered the immortal words, "Where's Norway?" Priceless.

The letters consisted mostly of the our good Christians doing good deeds and leading a good Catholic life to which the Knights would respond, "Cool!" and, "Great!" For example, the viewer from Mayo has said the Rosary every day since the age of 9 - she's now 13 - and another babysitted (babysat?) their younger siblings, so that her parents could go to Mass. All very admirable. However, one letter was more than a little sinister. This avenging angel and her little sister (from Michigan, no less) had set up a lemonade stall and decided to donate all the proceeds to pro-life groups in order to save the unborn! Tammy and co. thought that was cool and great. Frightening.

Perhaps next week, we'll hear about someone flagellating themselves or a bookburning of blasphemous material somewhere. We might even see the launch by the Knights of the Tenth Crusade to rid the Holy Land of the Jewish and Muslim infidels. While they're at it, they may as well exterminate their auld enemy, the Protestants. Their rotting, crucified corpses would line the road from Rome to Jerusalem, and their unbaptised souls would rot in Hell forever. Wouldn't that be cool and great?